<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Love is a Marathon, Not a Sprint by stellarmeadow</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25274461">Love is a Marathon, Not a Sprint</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow'>stellarmeadow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, First Kiss, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, many chapters of pining, no really there is a lot of pining here, so much pining, you have been warned about the pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:29:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25274461</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Buck and Eddie are thisclose to spilling how they feel. But things keep getting in the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tarialdarion made me do it. 😁</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He’s finally asleep,” Eddie said, as he walked back into the living room and dropped down onto the couch. </p><p>Buck took in Eddie’s tired features. “I thought the nightmares had gotten better.”</p><p>Eddie shrugged. “They come and go,” he said, meeting Buck’s eyes. “Stuff like that never really goes away.” </p><p>Yeah, Buck had his share of nightmare material that never failed to pop back up at times, but nothing compared to what Eddie probably had from his Army days. “You too?” he asked, even though he knew the answer.</p><p>For a moment, he wasn’t sure Eddie was going to answer with more than his initial nod, but then he said, “Sometimes I’ll go a week without one, and then I’ll wake up over and over all night.” </p><p>It was easy to tell when Eddie had those nights, because he’d walk into the firehouse the next day looking like a pale imitation of his usual self. Not that even a pale imitation wasn’t amazing, but still, every time it made Buck want to force him to go lie down and take a nap. </p><p>And if he wanted to lie down in the bunk with Eddie and take care of him, that was okay, right? </p><p>Of course, first he’d have to actually tell Eddie how he felt. </p><p>Which…should be easy in theory. Eddie was his best friend. He knew he could tell Eddie anything and everything. And he trusted Eddie with his life.</p><p>Maybe it was time to trust Eddie with his heart. </p><p>Buck took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So, Eddie—”</p><p>A knock at the door had Eddie frowning at his watch. “Who the hell?” he said, as he got up and answered the door. </p><p>Buck took another deep breath, adrenaline rushing through him. Maybe telling Eddie wasn’t a good idea just yet. Maybe the knocking had been a sign. </p><p>Eddie came back in. “Pizza guy,” he said tiredly. “Wrong house.” </p><p>Definitely a sign. “Who orders pizza this late?” Buck asked, as he stood up. “Speaking of which, I should head home.”</p><p>“You sure?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Buck patted Eddie on the shoulder as he went by him, trying to act normally. “See you in the morning. Night.”</p><p>Eddie’s answering, “Night,” only just carried into the hallway as Buck hurried to the door.</p><p>***</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Daddy, I don’t feel good.”</p><p>Eddie turned to see Christopher standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He definitely didn’t look like he felt good, and Eddie hadn’t heard any laughter while Chris had been watching TV, which was rare. </p><p>“Come here, buddy,” Eddie said, sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs and pulling Chris into his lap. “You’re warm,” he said, feeling Chris’s forehead. “What do you say we get you a bath, and then some Tylenol and some Gatorade?” </p><p>Chris nodded miserably, far more familiar with the process of handling a cold than a little kid should be. </p><p>“Can you go get undressed in the bathroom, and I’ll be in to help in a minute?” </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>He shuffled off to the bathroom and Eddie went to get the Children’s Tylenol. Only when he looked in the box, it was empty.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>He pulled out his cell and called Buck, who answered on the first ring. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Chris is sick,” Eddie said. “You think you could bring us some Children’s Tylenol?”</p><p>“Of course. Anything special I should look for?”</p><p>“I’ll text you a pic of the box.”</p><p>The jingling of keys was followed by the sound of Buck’s door closing behind him. “Okay. Anything else you need?”</p><p>“Gatorade? The blue kind if you can find it.” </p><p>“You got it. Send me the pic. And if you think of anything else, text me.”</p><p>Eddie let out a long sigh. “You’re a life saver.” </p><p>“Happy to help. Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine.”</p><p>***</p><p>Eddie pulled Christopher’s door almost closed before moving slowly into the living room and sitting down beside Buck on the couch. </p><p>“How’s he doing?” Buck asked. </p><p>Eddie sighed. “Fever is down a little,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I just…I know it’s probably just a cold, that he’ll be fine in a day or two, but it’s hard….” </p><p>“Yeah, seeing him so miserable is tough on me, I can only imagine how bad it is for you.”</p><p>It always had been, which was one of the reasons why Eddie had run back to the Army, and one of the reasons he’d always hate himself, just a little, for it. “It is, yeah.” He gave Buck a tired smile. “Thanks again for coming to the rescue.”</p><p>“It’s what I do,” Buck said. </p><p>“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure that delivering Tylenol and Gatorade isn’t in the LAFD’s job description.”</p><p>“Eddie, Chris isn’t a job, he’s a joy. Even when he’s sick.”</p><p>God, Eddie didn’t know what cloud Buck had fallen off of and where his halo had gone, but there was no doubt he was some kind of angel fallen to Earth. How Eddie had gotten so lucky that Buck had landed in his life, he wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to question it. </p><p>“Thanks,” Eddie said. “Say that after you’ve spent 24 hours with him and a stomach bug.”</p><p>“Anytime.” </p><p>That Buck meant what he said was etched in every line of his face. A face that Eddie wanted to map every inch of with his mouth. </p><p>Buck’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, drawing Eddie’s attention to them. They were so pink and perfect, and Eddie wouldn’t have to lean all that far to capture them with his own.</p><p>They parted, and Eddie found himself drawn in, like gravity had switched directions, as he leaned just a little closer to Buck.</p><p>“Daddy!” </p><p>Eddie swallowed hard as he sat back. “I should go check on him,” he said, voice hoarse.</p><p>“Yeah.” Buck’s voice wasn’t exactly clear either. “And I should probably go. Tell him I said feel better.” </p><p>“Um yeah. Yeah. I will. Thanks again.”</p><p>“Don’t mention it.</p><p>***</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck wasn’t entirely surprised when Eddie didn’t show up for dinner. Judging by the lack of comment, neither was the rest of the team. The last call had been difficult for all of them—every death was difficult, but kids were always the worst for any of them. </p><p>But twin boys, both Chris’s age? </p><p>Yeah, Eddie was off nursing his worst fear in private. </p><p>Buck ate quickly, then grabbed some food and headed off to the bunk room. He found Eddie in a corner bunk, the curtains mostly drawn closed, only one foot sticking out to show he was there. </p><p>Which, in Eddie-speak, was an invitation for Buck to find him.  </p><p>“Hey,” Buck said, as he pulled the curtain back just enough to sit on the edge of the bed, his hip pressing against Eddie’s knee. “How are you doing?”</p><p>Eddie shrugged. </p><p>Buck put the plate down on the table beside the bed before hauling himself back further onto the bed to sit against the wall, letting the curtain fall back until there was only a thin slit of light poking in on them. “You wanna talk about it?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“Okay.” Buck took a long breath, inhaling Eddie’s scent, stronger in their little cocoon than he was used to. Combined with the warmth of Eddie so close, it was enough to make him a little lightheaded. </p><p>He cleared his throat. “My first week on the job here,” Buck said, “we had a call for a woman who looked a lot like Maddie. I mean, there were differences, of course, but I also hadn’t seen Maddie in a couple of years by then, so it was unsettling to see someone who even resembled her.”</p><p>After a moment, Eddie asked, “What happened to her?”</p><p>“Carbon monoxide poisoning,” Buck said. “She looked like she was sleeping, except…she wasn’t. I used to wake up dreaming that it had actually been Maddie, and I couldn’t even call her to see if she was okay. I had—well, I still have—a Google alert for her name because I was worried she would die and I wouldn’t even know about it.”</p><p>Eddie’s breath sounded deep and a little jagged around the edges. “It’s just,” he said at last, “I want to protect him. All the time. Those kids, their dad had just gone around the corner to the store. That was it. That was all it took and now they’re gone.”</p><p>“It sucks,” Buck said. “All you can do is the best you can do. And I know,” he said quickly, as he could sense Eddie about to protest. “I know. That means nothing. But just because it doesn’t mean anything doesn’t mean it’s not true.” </p><p>“Just because it’s true doesn’t mean it helps.” </p><p>“I know that, too.” </p><p>Eddie sat up, leaning against the wall, his shoulder and side pressed against Buck’s, his heat and scent almost overwhelming that close. “I took this job to get to spend more time with him,” Eddie said, after a moment. “And I do—24 hour shifts with whole days off are a lot better than working three jobs. But I still have to spend so much time away from him, and most days I just think about how fast he’s growing up and how it’ll be no time before he’s grown up and gone.” </p><p>“Nah, Chris is never gonna leave, man,” Buck said. “He might move out, but he’s never gonna want to be far away from his dad.” </p><p>He turned to meet Eddie’s eyes, just barely visible in the light coming through the crack in the curtains. They were warm and fond and all the things that routinely sent goose bumps up and down Buck’s body when Eddie looked at him that way. </p><p>Then they shifted down to Buck’s lips, and Buck couldn’t help but let his do the same. Eddie looked so kissable, and Buck was dying to know just how those lips felt. </p><p>He felt more than saw Eddie leaning in, the pressure against Buck’s shoulder getting heavier as Buck closed his eyes. </p><p>The alarm went off, and they jolted apart, clambering out of the bed and towards the trucks without another word.</p><p>***</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I put this on the backburner for a while through all kinds of medical issues but now I am determined to finish it. Hopefully it'll still be fun after such a long time. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie’s phone buzzed on the nightstand just as he was waking up from a post-shift nap. He grabbed the phone to see a text from Buck. </p><p>
  <i>Lunch?</i>
</p><p><i>I’m kind of tired,</i> Eddie sent back, even though he knew he wouldn’t sleep anymore. </p><p>His phone buzzed a few seconds later. <i>You need to eat</i>, Buck said. When Eddie didn’t answer right away, his phone buzzed again. <i>Also I’m outside your house.</i></p><p>Eddie laughed softly as he got up and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt before heading for the door. Buck was standing on the doorstep, In-N-Out Burger bags in his hands. “Oh, good, you’re awake,” Buck said, as he walked inside. </p><p>“I don’t generally text in my sleep,” Eddie said, following Buck into the dining room. </p><p>Buck put the bags on the table. “That you know of.”</p><p>“I think I’d know if I was texting in my sleep.” Eddie went into the kitchen to get drinks. “I’d see the texts when I woke up.”</p><p>“Not if you deleted them.” </p><p>Eddie just shook his head and dug into the food. He hadn’t eaten much since a call for two boys Christopher’s age, but In-N-Out Burger was one of his vices, and he couldn’t resist.</p><p>Which, of course, Buck was fully aware of. It wasn’t like he turned up on Eddie’s doorstep with fast food after every shift. </p><p>Buck distracted him with random facts as they ate, which led to even more random conversations. By the time they were done, Eddie was feeling a little more like himself, and agreed to play video games. He’d won four rounds of Mortal Kombat before Buck put down the controller and held his hands up in defeat. </p><p>“I see where Christopher gets his game skills,” Buck said.</p><p>Eddie smiled. “I taught him everything he knows.”</p><p>“Then he’s a lucky kid.” </p><p>“I’m a lucky dad,” Eddie said absently, eyes trained on Buck’s smile. It was one of his favorite Buck smiles, soft around the edges, genuine fondness more than amusement. His eyes still held a little concern, though. “This was nice, Buck,” Eddie said, softly. “Thanks.” </p><p>Predictably, Buck shrugged. “It’s just lunch and video games,” he said, like it was no big deal. Like he didn’t routinely make it his personal mission in life to improve Eddie’s life every way he could, when all he really had to do was be there. </p><p>Eddie licked his lips, and Buck’s eyes dropped to Eddie’s mouth, lips parting as he leaned in, Eddie following suit. </p><p>A loud crash outside made them both jump and turn to see two cars smashed into each other on the street outside.</p><p>“We’d better go see if they need help,” Eddie said, getting up and heading for the door without looking back.</p><p>***</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck watched as Hen teased Eddie, Buck’s focus more on the brilliant smile and laugh it brought out in Eddie than whatever she was saying. </p><p>“Don’t you think so, Buck?” Hen asked.</p><p><i>Shit.</i> “Sorry, what?” Buck said. “I wasn’t paying attention.”</p><p>Hen wasn’t buying it, he could tell, but she let it go, thank God. “I said that Christopher has Eddie’s smile.” </p><p>“Nah,” Buck shook his head. “Christopher’s smile is way better. No offense, Eddie.”</p><p>Eddie beamed at Buck in a way that made him glad he was leaning against the wall. “None taken,” Eddie said. “In fact, I agree with you.”</p><p>His smile softened into that one that made Buck want to know what it tasted like, how it would feel as Eddie’s lips melted against his into a kiss that led to a lot of other things. </p><p>Things that he really shouldn’t be thinking about in public, let alone, with Eddie and the rest of the 118 right there. Staring at him. </p><p>“What?” Buck asked, looking around like he had no idea why they would be staring.</p><p>Eddie held up his hands, and the rest of the time turned and hurried off as if it was a choreographed exit. “Nothing,” Eddie said, looking a little…hurt. </p><p>No, not hurt. Disappointed. </p><p>But then again, maybe that was just Buck projecting. </p><p>There was only one way to know, though. Just tell Eddie. Confess, and see what happened after. </p><p>“Hey,” Buck said, heading for the stairs because if he had to stay around after this question, it wouldn’t end well, “want to go get breakfast after our shift?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie said, his voice as soft as the smile that came with it.</p><p>Buck was already on the stairs as he said, “Cool,” before he disappeared.</p><p>***</p><p>Buck fiddled with the menu, picking at a frayed edge as he pretended to read the breakfast entrees, even though the waiter had already taken their order. </p><p>Eddie’s hand landed on Buck’s stilling the nervous movement. “Hey,” Eddie said, voice as warm as his hand. “What’s going on?” </p><p>“Why?” Buck almost managed to meet Eddie’s eyes. “Why does something have to be going on?”</p><p>Eddie raised his eyebrows in a patented, ‘are you really trying this right now?’ look, with a hint of, ‘because I’m not stupid.’</p><p>He really did have some very expressive eyebrows. </p><p>“Okay,” Buck said, picking at the menu again, despite Eddie’s hand still on his. “I did want to talk to you about—”</p><p>Buck’s phone started blaring Maddie’s ringtone, the one he couldn’t ignore, especially not right now. “Hold on,” he said, pulling out his phone with his free hand, reluctant to remove the other one from the warmth of Eddie’s. “Hey, Maddie, is everything—”</p><p>“It’s time,” Chim practically yelled over the sound of road noise. “We’re on the way to the hospital now. Gotta go!”</p><p>He hung up, and Buck stared at the phone for a second before finally meeting Eddie’s eyes. “Maddie’s in labor,” he said, getting up. “Let’s go!”</p><p>***</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie checked the oven for the hundredth time. There was no way the chicken would be done in time, not with how it looked. He closed the oven door and turned the temperature up again.</p><p>He had clearly lost his mind when he’d decided to cook dinner for Buck.</p><p>It had seemed like a great idea at first. Cook dinner, tell Buck how he felt, and hope he didn’t need to throw up after if Buck let him down easy. </p><p>Because Buck would never do anything other than that. And for all that Eddie thought he was reading things right, well, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d read things wrong. </p><p>But then Buck wasn’t Shannon.</p><p>The front door opened and closed, and Eddie hurried out to meet Buck as he came in. “Hey,” Buck said, “did you—” he stopped, tilting his head and looking toward the kitchen. “Are you….cooking?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie said, trying to shrug it off like it was no big deal. “You’re always the one cooking, so I figured I’d give you a night off.” </p><p>Buck gave Eddie a look somewhere between disbelief and concern. “Eddie…I mean this in the nicest way possible, man, but you and a kitchen is a disaster waiting to happen.”</p><p>“Oh ye of little faith.”</p><p>“Oh me of several experiences,” Buck shot back. “Would you like them in chronological order, or in order of the severity of the incident?”</p><p>Eddie rolled his eyes. “You set one little fire by putting a towel on the stove and suddenly you can’t handle a kitchen.” Before Buck could bring up any other mishaps, Eddie guided him into the living room. “Have a seat,” Eddie said. “I’ll grab us some beers.”</p><p>Buck glanced at the kitchen. “Are you sure you don’t want me to—”</p><p>“Sit down,” Eddie said, a little more forcefully than he’d intended. </p><p>Buck dropped down onto the couch, mouth open just a little, and blinked at Eddie like he was…well, Eddie wasn’t thinking about exactly what that look was, or that it had been in response to what had been, essentially, an order, or he might literally catch fire.</p><p>“I’m gonna…” Eddie jerked a thumb toward the kitchen before turning and high tailing it in there. </p><p>He could tell the oven was warm enough just by getting within a few feet of it, so he didn’t open it again. Better not to let the heat out if they wanted to eat sometime tonight. </p><p>He grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and went back into the living room to find Buck looking slightly less dazed. “Thanks,” Buck said, as he took the beer. He opened it as Eddie sat down on the couch, his leg brushing against Buck’s long enough to feel Buck shiver at the touch. </p><p>“So, um,” Buck stopped to clear his throat. “What’s the special occasion?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“You’re cooking,” Buck said. “Why?”</p><p>Eddie shrugged, studying his beer bottle much more closely than it needed. “I can’t cook once in a while?”</p><p>“No, you can’t cook, like ever.” </p><p>Eddie took a deep breath and blew it out in a huff. “Okay,” he said, getting the courage to meet Buck’s eyes. The concern there gave Eddie courage to go on. “There’s something I wanted to ask you,” he said slowly. </p><p>Buck leaned in, eyes locked with Eddie’s. “Yeah?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie said. His brain was a little fuzzy from the heat and scent of Buck so tantalizingly close, lips parted just enough that Eddie could slip his tongue in—“Um…yeah.” Eddie cleared his throat. “I was wondering—”</p><p>The smoke alarm screeched through the air, getting both of them and into the kitchen in no time to see smoke streaming from the oven and a faint orange light showing behind it through the window. </p><p>Eddie grabbed the fire extinguisher, ready as Buck opened the oven door. A few sprays from the extinguisher and the fire was out, only the billowing smoke left, making them cough as Buck grabbed the pot holders and pulled out the pan of scorched chicken. </p><p>“I don’t even think this is going to pass as blackened chicken,” Buck said. </p><p>Eddie sagged against the sink, head down. “Yeah, so, maybe we’ll order in?”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Buck said, ducking down so Eddie could see him smile. “I think I can manage to make something. Well,” he added, opening the windows to let the smoke out, “once the smoke clears anyway.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Eddie said. “I tried.” </p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Buck’s voice was soft, and when Eddie glanced at him again, he was still smiling. </p><p>“So,” Buck said, as he reached around Eddie to put the burned pan in the sink. “What did you want to ask me?”</p><p>Eddie’s head swam in a combination of smoke and Buck brushing up against him to reach the sink. “Hm?”</p><p>“Just before the alarm went off, you said you had something to ask me?”</p><p>Yeah, no, not with that failure. He’d have to pick a better time. “Um…yeah, well, actually, I was wondering if you’d teach me how to cook?”</p><p>Buck blinked at him a few times. “Seriously?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eddie nodded at the stove, where the smoke was finally starting to clear a little. “I mean, clearly I could use some help….”</p><p>Buck’s smile grew wider. “Yeah, sure,” he said, turning to the fridge. “How about we start with an omelet?” </p><p>“Sounds good,” Eddie said. </p><p>Maybe next time he should try this at a restaurant.</p><p>***</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>